Welcome to Meatropolis.

A bustling urban hive.

THE CITY OF THE SAUSAGE,

where Meaty products thrive…

Mild-flavoured BRAD WURST,

just like every morning,

is walking with his kids to school,

when SUDDENLY, without warning...

A spacecraft drops out of the sky,

all flashing lights and bleeping.

It lands with a splash in the boating lake,

the sausage folk start cheering.

The air grows thick and heavy

with the stench of spinach dip.

A hatch pops open and a ramp extends

from the side of the alien ship…

“We are your superiors,

fresh produce from the farm.”

Yells Royal Stink, the Garlic King,

held aloft by a robot arm…

“We haven't come in peace,

to shake your meaty hands,

we've come here to destroy you

and take over your lands.”

The rows and rows of fruit and veg,

in military formations,

writhe and burst and pop and change

into hideous mutations…

These fiendish, squishy monsters

attack the people by the lake,

with snapping jaws and tentacles.

Not many folk escape.

Avoiding Angry apples and rabid runner beans,

Brad twists and turns and dodges, trying to flee the scene.

A wicked, whipping tentacle

strikes him in the back.

Poor Brad flies screaming through the air,

smashing a Spice-Rack…

He fights to stand, the spice burns,

through the crowd he forces,

a giant horseradish  

kicks him in the sauces.

They drag him to a frying pan,

already on the griddle.

They pick him up and chuck him in…

Poor Brad starts to sizzle!

There’s yam and egg-plant all around,

perhaps a baker's dozen,

they lift Brad from the frying pan

and sling him in the oven.

In the searing heat he rises, grinning from ear to ear,

covered in herbs and spices, he feels no pain or fear.

“I will fight them everywhere, shops, parties, picnics.

Now see me rise from the flames, like a porky phoenix.”

The oven door smashes open, who is this through the smoke?

It’s our hero…Super Sausage!!! And he’s throttling an artichoke.

“Putting me in the oven, was your biggest mistake.

Now I will defeat you, I'M PERMANENTLY BAKED!”

“Tasteless, bland, revolting!

All you have is crunch!”

And he smacks a giant celery,

with one mighty punch.

A mighty punch,

a solid whack,

the celery smiles…

then starts to crack.

The fruit and veg rally,

attacking from behind,

wrapping him in pasta

and pelting him with rind.

Now look at Super Sausage,

chained up with rotini,

bound and tied and tethered

with strands of thick linguini…

“Bring him here!” Screams Royal Stink

“Bring him wrapped in pasta,

Make him bow down on his knees

before his veggie master.”

“Milk and eggs won’t hold me,

you great, green, stinky meanie.”

Super Sausage BREAKS THROUGH

the chains of fettuccini.

The Avocados have been holding back,

waiting for the main attack.

Now they charge,

yelling--

“To the death!!!”

He freezes them

with his sausage breath.

Still they come, but oh so slowly,

he chops them into guacamole.

Something grabs him from behind,

squeezing his guts,

a mixed bag of dried fruit,

he kicks it in the nuts.

“This has gone on long enough.

I’m taking you guys out.”

Shouts Super Sausage,

stepping on a sprout.

“Impressive…” Laughs Royal Stink,

“but now you must surrender.”

And Super Sausage turns to find him…

DRIVING A GIANT BLENDER!

“You fight well Super Sausage,

but you can’t beat us all.

Now it’s time to take your place

in my TASTY CASEROLE!!!”

WOW! Super Sausage GRABS them ALL

and THROWS them in the mixing-bowl,

smashing the blender with a karate chop,

he plugs it in and…

KICKS IT OFF THE WORKTOP!!!

“Please don't send me there, I’ll never survive,

a juicy, young bulb like me, they'll eat me alive…

I'm sorry…” begs the Garlic King,

“…Just give me one more chance.”

Now Brad returns to normal life,

as his mild-flavoured alter-ego.

Protecting his identity

as…

EARTH’S MEATIEST HERO!!!

So wherever you find fruit and veg,

engaged in strange behavior…

call SUPER SAUSAGE!!!

The spicy, savoury savior.

Justice served all day, there is no escape.

Pickled, mulched, squeezed, diced…

by a BANGER in a MASK and CAPE!!!